His Provision

I love the scripture in Matthew about how we are to look at the birds of the air...they do not sow nor reap, yet our heavenly Father feeds them...Yes, He is the Great Provider. Not only of our physical needs, but our emotional ones as well. I've needed some emotional strength in the past few days and though I did not directly ask Him for it, He knew of the need and abundantly provided it. I realized that this morning. When I took the time to look. I became aware that His provisions to fill my need came in many and various ways...

• from the love of my daughter who had casually mentioned she was "homesick" for a visit and a chat from me; (We spent hours talking late into the night--what a joy!)
• from my soon-to-be 5 year old granddaughter who told me that when she "grows up she wants to be a grandma" like me; ( I must be doing something good to attract her to that!)
• from attending church and being surrounded in a new way with voices on either side of me singing songs of praise and worship to the Lord I love so much; (A slice of Heaven for me!)
• from making a choice to take advantage of the opportunity I'd been given to share the Lord I've come to know with young middle schoolers; (His gift of teaching to me-it's so natural)
• from having one of those kids reveal the most awesome truth...out of the mouths of babes...(the young boy stated in the most serious, sincere voice, his definition of the void of life before Christ--"it was like always wanting, always looking, for something inside and never receiving it, always hoping I could get rid of that feeling. I finally did when I gave my life to Jesus last year"); (A truth that filled me with joy as I heard him share--and know inside that he has been touched by Him)
• from sitting in an auditorium yesterday afternoon and hearing 30+ women give individual testimonies of the reality of God in their lives. . . fresh from the experience, weeping tears of joy-filled, overflowing hearts beating with new knowledge of how deep, and deeper still, flows the love of God for each one who takes the time to focus on Him and His care, His Love, for us; 
• and then today--in the words of one, an author I have just recently been reacquainted with, as she spoke of fighting the battle within to have things, circumstances, life, go "her way" and not His, reasoning with Him, asking the "why" question over and over, and finally, weary from the war,  relinquishing her will to His and the joy that is inexpressible and fills the soul that becomes the result of that relinquishment; 
• and then, before sitting down to write, stepping out on the balcony of my room and being overwhelmed at the life of His created things...a chipmunk scampering across the beam of the pasture-field fence, a mockingbird and its loyal mate singing love songs to one another, a cardinal peeping its head out from among the leaves of the forsythia, and a gorgeous red-headed woodpecker chipping away at tasty morsels at the top of the telephone pole. Who taught them how to seek their sustenance? Who filled them with the knowledge? Only You. Lord. 

Reminders each one to me and evidence of the great and awesome Lord who cares for us all even to the least of  His creation! Thank you, Father for feeding my soul.

Hope

Everyday I am a little bit more astounded at the realm of technology in our world. A week or so ago, I dug out an old book that had become my friend many years ago when I was going through rocky waters of my life. I pulled it off the shelves, blew the dust off its pages and skimmed through it, wondering why its title had popped up in my mind  practically 30 years later. As I perused its pages, I knew...I had been Directed to it again to help me make sense of a situation that's arisen in the lives of people I love. I thought back to the one who'd written it, whom I had personally met "coincidentally" at a time when I needed to hear that hope still existed. God knew I needed to hear that truth once again working in the lives of ordinary people and so my mind reached back to that lady who spoke so passionately of the Hope that was in her. I wondered if she was still around all these years later...was she still living in that place of hope that she spoke so eloquently about? I did what anyone would have done these days when looking for an answer to a question...I Googled her. And there she was! Popping up, clear as day. Scanning down the page, an inch below I saw a YouTube link with her name...and of course, I had to click it. I was instantly transmitted back, 30 years, to 1980 once again. The year I lost my marriage when my husband walked out leaving me with 2 little children and my mother was killed in a terrible accident... To that night when I sat in the audience and listened to her share her life. Through the magic of YouTube, I sat in the audience again and, although older in body, she's a bit past 60 now, she was the same in spirit... I saw her still speaking, still hoping, still believing, still spreading her story and I rejoiced because she had stayed true to her self and true to her God, Who is also my God. And I found myself full of joy, that I, too, also had stayed true to Him. I watched five 10 minute video segments drinking in her words,  her talk to women today about finding the Source of True Hope. It was such a sweet expression of God's intimate love and care for me...to allow me to, through the instant click of the mouse, to hear someone coming out of my past that had had such a significant impact on my life all those years ago. To be able to once again hear her voice tell of her life's journey, of what had transpired with her and, more significantly, in her,  over the past 30 years, to see the path that He had led her on...It was awesome to me. And near the end of her talk, she said something so rich that it made me stop the tape, back up, grab a pad and pencil and listen to it over and over again as I madly scribbled it down. It goes something like this:

"Through it all I have found that the deepest call of the Gospel 

is to go out (into life)  with the life that we've been given, 

transformed--as well as we have been able to surrender to that transforming Love,

and then, to give back in service to one another ...

(because God knows, this world needs it!)...

so...What do I do with the years left in this life? 

It's the same answer that I found years ago 

when I was so much younger and so broken...

I go deeper...

and deeper still.

And find....LOVE.

Cells of Love that exceed hatred, 

and Hearts of Love that speak louder than hate.

And as we embrace that Love, we begin to lift the world--

in the same way that the dear people in my prayer (group) lifted me...

all those years ago....

They lifted me..."---Paula D'Arcy

Thank you, Paula D'Arcy for following the path, the life that you've been given. It gives me hope to continue on, to trust, to lean, to follow step by step and day by day the path that I've been given, too.

I've found another kindred spirit in Holley Gerth. Here are some thoughts as she contemplated Hope from her inspiring blog, Heart to heart with Holley:

"A Different Kind of Hope says, “It’s okay to not be okay....

A different kind of hope... holds on to Who not why.  

And He holds us right back...

Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, 

character; and character, hope. 

Romans 5:3-4

When I first read this verse I thought it had a typo.

Wasn't hope supposed to be first on the list?

After all, that's how the world often portrays it—as a fluffy feeling that lets us float through hard times.

But it turns out that's not the way it works in the Kingdom.

Suffering produces perseverance...

We all know what that's like—those are the days when we simply get up and put one foot in front of the other by faith when feelings are nowhere to be found.

Perseverance, character...

If we do that enough days in a row, it changes who we are because of all we learn about who He is in the middle of our circumstances. 

And character, hope...

When who we are is transformed, hope comes to stay. Because we know in the core of our being that we can face anything with God.

Getting to a different kind of hope is a journey.

It doesn't happen all at once. It's the culmination of our hearts taking a thousand little steps of faith. And along the way choosing to say, "Yes, God, I will stick with you no matter what."

Real hope meets us where we expect it least and need it most.

So if life seems hard right now and you wonder how much longer you can go on,take heart...

Hope is already on the way.

A different kind of hope understands this handy little truth: sometimes you've just got to laugh because life ain't no peach pie after all.  (Sometimes you just have to take time for a pity party. Do it, and then... stop it!)

Do not compare your pain with others. The worst pain you will ever feel is your own. That does not mean you are selfish—that means you are human."

Each heart knows its own bitterness. Proverbs 14:10

Give yourself Permission....

Permission to be honest about what's not so great in your life right now. Not permission to wallow, mind you—but permission to acknowledge, throw the Pity Party and then get on with the real party of life.

 A different kind of hope shares rather than compares. 

Dr. Gary Oliver had lost a wife and son in the last few years as well as faced cancer. If anyone has the right to say, "My pain is bigger than your pain" it's him. His point was that when it comes to pain—it's far better to share than compare.

Turns out it works a whole lot better for us and everyone else to just say, "Yep, had a stinky day/week/decade." Then we can get on with healing and helping rather then denying ourselves right into exhaustion.

Hope is a flame that's lit inside us and no amount of darkness can overcome it. 

I imagine each of you also have a dream inside your heart that has flickered.

Yes, we know that feeling...the moment when light almost slips into darkness. But then, a divine spark comes and it is our choice to fan it into flame or let it fade.

A different kind of hope keeps shining no matter what.

Think about one of His names...Light of the World...

The candles within our hearts don't bear our own light—they bear His.

He came long ago to a manger in Bethlehem. But He also comes again here, now, when our hearts need Him most.

It is not new light that burns within us, brightening the path. 

No, the only true Light is the One illuminating all of eternity.

This is WHO we joyfully celebrate.

Jesus, Light of the World.

Yes, shine in us again." --Holley Gerth

    "My Hope".....sung by Hillsong.

Trusting God

Yesterday we received news from our dear son-in-law, B, that our daughter, M, had given birth to an 8 pound baby girl! Mama was doing fine and had the shortest labor that she has ever had. This being her seventh child, she has had quite a few to compare it to! But, this birth was different in another way also. This little one was born with complications. It was obvious from the very start to the experienced eyes of their competent mid-wife, D, that this baby needed extra care, including oxygen which was immediately administered there at the home. We were awakened sometime after 4:00 in the morning that they were on their way to the hospital. Baby and mama in the ambulance and daddy B following behind. The sound of B's voice over the phone showed uncommon control and strength in a very stressful situation. It was obvious to me that he had, at some point earlier, relinquished the circumstances to the Lord, and that He was working in B to bring calmness and control in the midst of it.

At the end of the day we are looking at these facts: Our little grand baby, who has been named Sarah, is currently on a ventilator in the Neonatal Unit of Children's Hospital, the cardiologist has informed us that she has a rare heart condition that will require at least one open heart surgery in the coming months to correct; Mama is doing exceedingly well physically; and , as always, GOD is in control.

This last fact is the one that I want to comment on as I get acclimated to the new situation that has arisen in our family with the birth of Baby Sarah yesterday. I know God is showing me more of Himself through this experience. I was blessed with a good night's sleep but awakened around 5:00 AM abruptly and was immediately reminded that we have a crisis in our family. M and B have another child and she will require an extra amount of additional time, care, love, prayer, anxiety, and whatever other noun you care to put to it, to a couple that already has a VERY full plate with 6 active children that are being home schooled.

I cried out in my heart, "Oh, Lord, how will they manage? I can't believe this is happening! I want it to go away and for Sarah to be miraculously healed, right now!" Any one with a grandmother's heart for her children would call out in the same way, I know. But I was drowning in emotion and I had to get out of bed and talk with God and call on Him to give me strength to deal with this and here am I, once removed! How can M and B handle all this??? As I allowed my flesh to take over, I got more and more panicky within my soul, I was feeling so overcome! Then that beautiful... still...small Voice crept into my heart..."Didn't you, just a night or two ago, at mid-week Kinship, share with your brothers and sisters in Christ the main points from the article in In Touch magazine? Remember what it said. Are you one who can only talk the talk and not walk the walk?" I had to agree, I had gone on and on about the truths in this article by Dan Schaeffer (The Bush Won't Burn)about the will of God. He had brought up 4 different "myths" people tend to believe about God's will and being in it. Myth # 1 was foremost in my mind....The will of God ensures smooth sailing, and smooth sailing indicates God's will. Baby Sarah is definitely not experiencing smooth sailing right now...but, as pointed out in the article, neither did Joseph when he was thrown into an Egyptian prison for a crime he didn't commit--yet he was in the will of God; as was Daniel when he was thrown in the lion's den. He was, however, in the will of God. Or Peter and John when beaten and jailed for refusing to deny Jesus and cease preaching. But they were in the will of God. And, of course, our Lord Himself, when He was crucified on the cross for our sins. Definitely, in the will of God. These things were brought to my mind and I allowed God to speak to me. This situation has been allowed and His Glory will be shown somehow in it.

I thought of our baby's name and I read in Genesis 17..."but Sarah (Princess) her name shall be. And I will bless her....Yes, I will bless her." And again, in Chapter 18, when Abraham's Sarah heard that she would have a child and laughed, "...and the Lord asked Abraham, Why did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I really bear a child when I am so old? Is anything too hard or too wonderful for the Lord?" That last question really made me ponder..and, of course, the answer is NO--NOTHING is TOO HARD or TOO WONDERFUL for the Lord!! Baby Sarah and M and B are safe in His very capable Hands. I know it and I will believe it and I will trust it. I went to the morning devotion for today called Early Light and read 1 Peter 2: 9-10:

9 But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God's OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;
10 for you once were NOT A PEOPLE, but now you are THE PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT RECEIVED MERCY, but now you have RECEIVED MERCY.

And then the commentary said, "Today's passage calls believers 'a chosen race,' 'a royal priesthood,' and 'God's own possession. ' And our purpose is to 'proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called (us) out of darkness into His marvelous light.'

How encouraging it is to know that we've been called into God's 'marvelous light.' Yet unless we have help, we are unable to escape the "darkness" of our circumstances. As believers, we're empowered by the Holy Spirit, who enables us to overcome disheartening situations and Satan's manipulative tactics.

When circumstances seem unbearable, remember the Lord purchased you with a price (1 Cor. 6:20). Wake up each morning with the knowledge that you are valuable to your Father. Trust in His Word, not your feelings, and allow the Holy Spirit to change your self-perception."

That is where I shall stay...trusting in Him and continuing to pray. Please join me.